Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
