You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
