$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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