my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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