ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
