on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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