i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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