no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
