My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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