Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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