pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
