I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
