My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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