two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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