She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
