hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
