If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize