Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
