so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
