Small penises have feelings too.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Do vagina's smell?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
