I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
