Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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