Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
