Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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