"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
