if you like me you must not know who I am
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
