i permit you to call me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize