Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
