i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
