Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize