She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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