Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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