so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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