i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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