I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
