I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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