HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
