12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
