it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
