so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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