He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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