in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
we should paint friendship bongs
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