what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Success! We fucked roommates!
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