If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
