i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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