Plan B is the new Plan A
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
