This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
