we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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