Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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