I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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