If that was your dad, he is hot
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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