It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
