A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize