woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
