No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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