I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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