In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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