i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
