so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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